Things to do before you’re thirty. Cities to visit before summer ends. Movies to see before you die. We’ve all heard of these kinds of bucket lists and many of us will have written our own versions of them at one point or another. I know I’ve written a few in my time but the only one I’ve ever managed to complete has been all about sex.
Yep, every time January 1st rolls around I write a sexy bucket list. It helps me remember things I want to try, be they sex positions, sex toys, or fantasies. Here’s a list of ten things that have featured on my lists in the past. Pick your favorites from Scandarella’s 2018 Sexy Bucket List Suggestions and use them as a foundation for your own bucket list.
One of the hottest sex acts a couple can do together is mutual masturbation. Pleasuring ourselves is as natural as breathing, but a lot of us can still feel a little self-conscious when it comes to doing ourselves in front of another person. The thing is, if you’ve done enough self-exploration, you’ll know all of your own buttons like the back of your hand. Where to touch, how to touch, how hard or soft or quick or slow.
A brilliant way of teaching your partner what you want without going as far as giving them a sex-ed lesson is to show them. Touch yourself and encourage them to touch themselves at the same time. Not only will you both learn how to give it to each other the exact way you like it, but you’ll also get your own private performance from the one you want it from most.
Does the pottery gone bad scene in Ghost raise your temperature? How about the feeder scene in 9 ½ weeks, or the over the desk one in the Secretary? Whichever sexy sequence floats your boat why not try re-enacting it with your partner? Not only does this have the potential to get you some fantasy sex without having to use much imagination, but it’s also a great way of finding out what each other really wants in the bedroom.
As an erotica writer, it would be rude of me to miss writing a naughty story off any sexy bucket list. Whether you’re writing for yourself, to arouse a partner, or whatever other reason you may have, scribbling down some dirty words is huge fun. Don’t feel like committing your fantasies to paper? Try thinking of a real-life event that was hotter than hot and record that instead, being sure to include as many details as you can recall. If your partner is anything like mine they’ll appreciate the trip down memory lane. Plus, as a bonus, you might well find a new hobby or discover a hidden talent.
Let’s Go Outside
No, I’m not suggesting you get your groove on outside of the comfort of your own home (though if you want to you totally should, just remember that not everyone will be happy to catch you at it so be discreet). What I’m suggesting is getting yourself a remote or app controlled sex toy and using it in a public setting.
It doesn’t have to be a ‘date night’ thing, either. A trip to the beach, a wander around a museum, a library visit…even boring old mooch around the supermarket can become foreplay if one of you (or both, if you’re up for it) is wearing a remote-controlled love egg or an app-controlled butt plug. If you’re not confident that you can conceal an orgasm in a public space, you can always agree beforehand to finish off when you get home.
If you have glass, metal, or ceramic sex toys and haven’t tried temperature play you’re missing out on a wonderful thing. These materials can all be chilled in ice water (never the freezer – if you’re tempted just remember that the tongue on the frozen pole thing isn’t a joke) or hot water (never boiling, for obvious reasons).
Textures are more defined when a toy is chilled, and genital blood flow is increased when a toy is heated. In both cases, sensitivity is amplified no matter where you’re putting the toy. Switching between hot and cold in the same session can be an utterly mind-blowing experience. Give it a shot!
A great thing to add to your sexy bucket list is giving your partner – or indeed yourself – a hands free orgasm. No, I don’t mean with the power of your mind (though if you can do that, call me – lol). I mean with a sex toy. There are so many toys out there with the power to deliver an orgasm while both the giver and receiver are completely still and not touching each other.
Do you and your partner live apart? Maybe a city away, or a whole continent? Maybe they work away, or they might work hours that mean you don’t get to be in bed at the same time. If this is you, a great addition to your list would be using an app-controlled toy together.
Once upon a time toys like this were mostly love eggs, and you had to be at least in the same room as each other to make them work. But now you can pick up a butt plug, or a rabbit, or a masturbator, give it to your partner and then control it from wherever you are via a simple app on your smart phone. One of the most fun things I’ve ever done was have my partner control my vibrator from work. The excitement of knowing he was in a room full of people, looking like he was sending innocent messages when he was really giving me an orgasm…it was intense!
If you haven’t tried it before (and if your partner is up for it), pegging is definitely something to add to your sexy bucket list. Donning a harness and dildo can be terrifying at first, but once you know what you’re doing it’s an amazing experience for both parties. There’s the excitement that comes from the switching of usual roles, the rush of the change in dynamics, the new sensations from different bodily movements and the new feelings both of you will feel. All you need is a strap-on harness, a modestly sized soft dildo – the Super Soft line from Tantus is perfect for this – and a good quality anal lube like Sliquid Sassy. And your partner’s consent, of course.
With this final suggestion I’m giving you a cheeky peek into my own sexy bucket list for 2018. What is it I want to try?
Japanese rope bondage that looks so beautiful you could almost forget that it’s bondage. I’m no stranger to restraint – or even rope – but my partner isn’t artistic with his wraps and knots. I get rope coiled around me and secured effectively but simply. I want to be incapacitated but pretty with it, and Shibari looks like an awesome way to achieve this. We’re definitely giving it a go. Why don’t you?